Here are the best tweets from Apple’s ‘Far Out’ event • TechCrunch


Apple’s pre-recorded presentations are always a little weird. These jam-packed presentations feature Apple executives telling us about their new products as they drive through scenic deserts or climb strange, non-existent subways.

Today’s presentation felt even weirder, though, perhaps because it kicked off with a lengthy Apple Watch ad that basically sent “If you don’t buy this, you’ll die of a heart attack.” We also saw some action on the always controversial notchplus some subtle hints at Roe v. About Wade when Apple added a new one tracking menstrual health to his Apple Watch.

Of course, this embarrassment means that the geeky tech types have made some terrible jokes on Twitter. I laughed at most of them. Here are some tweets for your viewing pleasure.

Apple is so dramatic

Former One Direction member Harry Styles yesterday described why he enjoys it his upcoming film ‘Don’t Worry Darling’. He said. “My favorite thing about a movie is that it feels like a movie.”

Styles got a lot of flak for this innocent quote, but I get it. My favorite thing about Apple events is that they feel like Apple events. These graphics are so beautiful that they almost make you forget about them ongoing mission to prevent their retail workers union. This was especially true today when most of the event focused on what you could wear Apple Watch Ultra meanwhile underwater swimming, ultramarathon running, Everest climbing, etc. al.

“Dynamic Island”

Apple has dubbed its notch replacement, a pill-shaped notch, as “dynamic island“. Apple users seem to be divided on whether or not this is a good alternative. I’m personally a fan, but others won’t settle for anything less than the full full-screen experience. Everyone seems to agree, however, that Dynamic Island is a pretty silly name. Our hardware editor Brian Hayter, who attended today’s event in person, told us that the audience actually laughed at the name when it was announced.

I wrote about a dynamic island, only to receive a correlation from a TechCrunch reader. To be fair, this answer was pretty funny. I’m following you, Joseph.

The Apple Watch Ultra is a little too extreme

The intro video for today’s hour-plus presentation included a teenage boy fearing for his life as a bear roams his kitchen, only for his Apple Watch to save the day. It was strange. But since Apple introduced its extra durability Apple Watch Ultraintended for use during extreme sports, things just got weirder.

Then Apple introduced satellite SOS, which helps you get to a safe place if you encounter an emergency while offline. It’s a very useful feature and a smart use of technology, but after too many mentions of bear attacks and diving, it felt scary.

We are all tired of lightning cable

The European Union is taking legislative steps to require all smartphones to use it a regular USB-C charger until fall 2024. Some USB-C devotees got their hopes up, wondering if this meant the iPhone 14 would finally ditch the Lightning cable in favor of a USB-C port. It makes sense. iPads and MacBooks work similarly with USB-C chargers and how Haje wrote in a heated blog post, “pretty much everything that isn’t an iPhone and an Apple keyboard or AirPods runs on USB-C these days.” Unfortunately, Apple didn’t make a big leap today.

Anyway, if you want a factual recap of what you missed at today’s event, check it out Greg’s recap.





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